Through it all Love is the answer.

I think being apart of a youth group is awesome. We all share the same faith and can talk about it freely. Each of us is a drop of water and together we make up an ocean. Things get difficult when you are placed in a position you never intended to be. Don't get me wrong I know God likes to interrupt our lives and that's okay with me. I learn the most sometimes when God just stops what im doing and mainly jus tells me whats gonna happen. Its hard for me to stand around as christian's bash the kid who drinks and doesn't like a kid just because they do drugs. We all have different stories and why we are the way we are. Ive learned to love everyone. I know sounds weird but the kid who is always getting into fights or the kid who the one who gets high almost everyday of their life. It pains me to hear people i know who can sit and talk about the people who are going through that. Some of my greatest friends who ive been there for me when i need someone to talk to are the ones who like to party and do drugs. I think society puts people into catogories. You drink once as a christian now your know as a "partier" or clearly makes all bad choices and we are a "fake christian". We have to make mistakes in order to grow and learn. What about the kid who will sit with there friends and talk crap about the one who spends to much time flirting all the time going from one boy to another. People tend to look at the bad in someones life and when people ask about someone you kind of know people bring out the worst in someone. I know i dont want to be known as a lier or a "partier". I know that aside from the areas i mess up i know i have some really good qualities and passions in life.
What always makes me the most upset is when even people i thought see past the bad only want to lecture me and point out the bad things i do in my life. It makes me feel like a shitty person. Im not here to please anyone, i hear to do what God has called me to do. I know i will fuck up plenty of times. I guess ive realized that i am role model but at the same time i cant stress over that. Im human i will occassially listen to bad music, swear when im angry but i know God is working through me to fix me. I am just as broken as the drug addict. I just found my hope in God and they havent yet. I think some people are so quick to give up on them, but i see hope in them. They are broken but NO ONE every has the right to sit there and say they dont like them if they havent even bothered to talk to them. Or base what they had heard through other people.
Havent even bothered to see that most broken people arent found in other countries. You dont need to leave to country to be a missionary. People in America are broken but people are so quick to get a plane ticket to Africa. What about the forgotten kids here. Dont get me wrong i think it is awesome people are taking action but some look over the simple neighbor who needs someone or the friend who parties every weekend and just needs a friend to talk with. You dont consider that a missionary but if you spreading Gods love then you dont have to go anywhere to be a missionary. As a christian the more people push what you should be doing the less people will listen to you. The more they point out what you do wrong i mean who wants to go somewhere where everyweek they get a talk about how they arent living the right way. Screw the good things your doing lets not even bring them up lets just talk about what your not doing. No one wants that. Its hard to explain to some people who just dont know yet. I hate to even say it but from the time i was a freshman to a senior i was exposed to so much more. Not saying freshman dont know but its easy to hate the girl who sleeps around cause she is a "slut" but she doesnt need someone to tell her that she sleeps around and she def doesnt need other people telling everyone. She needs a consisitant friend who is going to love her through this hard time in her life. Your in no place to say why she is doing what she is doing unless you are her. I think people need to spend more time just loving eachother than actually putting people into boxes based on a mistake. Yes we need to help others when they are sinning and maybe even point it out to them but its not our job to change them. We cant change anyone. Lecturing them all the time is just going to not want to be around you. Have to spend more time encourging eachother on what we do really well instead of always pointing out the places we mess up.
Whenever everything goes wrong or your stress just know: Love is the answer.

being happy.

what about tomorrow

There are some people in the world who think and act pretty much at the same time. Tend to think about how they are hurt or how it effects them and not how your actions effects someone else (thats me some of the time). For the past year life has been changing quickly. I finished high school and im getting ready for the new chapter in my life. I tend to be a person that cant finish sentances, gets angry over nothing, assumes things that arent true and most def can be selfish when it comes to others feelings. I love my friends and my family and i know i have a good heart, somewhere. Maybe its me, yeah probabley i expect to much. If someone doesnt say hi to me i assume they dont like me. I try not to judge people unless ive walked in there shoes. I wouldnt want someone to say ive got it easy and assume my life is easy if they havent walked in my shoes. I feel sometimes that im a bad influence, even when it isnt clear as day. Some of my friends are walking strong with God and i feel like i tempt them to move away from that and turn to evil. And others who are struggling i tend to help them continue the sin there in. I dont have it all figured out. The past week i have been so angry at this one person but instead of confronting them about it ive been icnoring them. I know ill have to face them eventually but for now i like to soak in my own hate. For me actions def speak louder than words. Life is hard. Some days i just want to give up just go with the flow of the world but i know i wont be happy. Some days i feel like i just pull my friends done with and i wonder why they are actually friends with me, i dont seem to be any good most of the time. Even my best friends are afraid to tell me stuff because they are afraid of how i will react. That sounds like im a really shitty friend. My best friends cant be honest with me about how they feel. Some friends i just know that if we were in different curcumstances they wouldnt even want to be my friend at all. I know that i love them all with my whole heart and im willing to do anything for them. I know my i like stupid things get the best of my but im still a work in progress. I'd advice not to live life that way. Im learning but some advice dont life anything hold you back. What people say in the end wont actually matter have peace and joy flowing in your life. Just learn to let go of the things that you dont have control over. Im serious it makes life so much more enjoyable, isntabout the final product. I mean we all strive for something in this world, everyone wants to become something. Ive learned that it doesnt happen overnight. It is the small steps that we take to change ourselves and mold into the person we know we can be. As we change our lifes we end up having an effect on other lifes to. I talked to this lady one time and she was telling me that everyone you see or met has an effect on your life. I thought about it and it didnt make sense. They she said picture yourself at a concert. She asked me what was going on. I said there were tons of people around singing, dancing and screaming. Then she said now what if you were the only person there. Wouldnt your experience be different. I just yes of course. It made me think. My actions even the littles ones effects even people ive never met before. That you could make an impact on someones life even if you dont know it. Life is kind of cool that way. I know things bothering me know and will as long as im learning to be a better person. I wouldnt want my life any other way.
I know this blog is all over the place i guess i have a lot on my mind and just needed someplace to lie my thoughts. Ill never have all of the anwsers but i leave from everything i do. I know who i want to be in 10 years, but i cant figure out who i want to be tomorrow.

last sunday

John 14:27 "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

it calms my heart when i read this verse, knowing there is a God who can do anything, a God that can fix anything.

Change

Everyone can change the world. Once we are willing to change ourselves, people see our difference and want to follow what we are doing. We just have to be willing to take that first step, knowing that in the end there will be a positive change in the end. We have to encourage each other and build each other up because we all have different strengths we have to be willing to help each other to start to change the world.

life

To be the person you strive to be, your going to have to free yourself from those parts of your life that pull you away from reaching you full potential. Knowing that there is more than what is right in front of you. Life is our journey and its what we make out of it that defines the person that we are in the end.

Bucket List

I was thinking about how i wanted direct my life. So i decided to make my own personal bucket list so here it is...

· Skydiving
· Serve at the agape home in Thailand
· Write/Publish a book
· Ride an elephant
· Meet someone famous
· Get a tattoo
· Attend a talk show
· Get a picture with a group of random people in Italy
· Backpack through Europe
· Pray in a temple in turkey
· Ski in Colorado
· Learn to play the piano
· Go skinny dipping
· Fly in a hot air balloon
· Go bridge jumping
· Go to new York city for new years eve
· Start my own organization
· Travel to Africa and attend a ritual (sing and dance)
· Hillsong church in Australia
· Climb the mountains in New Zealand
· Walk the wall of china
· Want to drive without a destination
· Read stories to kids at a children’s hospital
· Attend a walkathon in new York city for a good cause
· Rv across the US

· Take a sick/dying child out for their perfect day

this is just the begging of it. i want to personalize a box to devote for my bucket list experiences.

some of them are fun and others are things that have been on my heart for awhile.