what about tomorrow

There are some people in the world who think and act pretty much at the same time. Tend to think about how they are hurt or how it effects them and not how your actions effects someone else (thats me some of the time). For the past year life has been changing quickly. I finished high school and im getting ready for the new chapter in my life. I tend to be a person that cant finish sentances, gets angry over nothing, assumes things that arent true and most def can be selfish when it comes to others feelings. I love my friends and my family and i know i have a good heart, somewhere. Maybe its me, yeah probabley i expect to much. If someone doesnt say hi to me i assume they dont like me. I try not to judge people unless ive walked in there shoes. I wouldnt want someone to say ive got it easy and assume my life is easy if they havent walked in my shoes. I feel sometimes that im a bad influence, even when it isnt clear as day. Some of my friends are walking strong with God and i feel like i tempt them to move away from that and turn to evil. And others who are struggling i tend to help them continue the sin there in. I dont have it all figured out. The past week i have been so angry at this one person but instead of confronting them about it ive been icnoring them. I know ill have to face them eventually but for now i like to soak in my own hate. For me actions def speak louder than words. Life is hard. Some days i just want to give up just go with the flow of the world but i know i wont be happy. Some days i feel like i just pull my friends done with and i wonder why they are actually friends with me, i dont seem to be any good most of the time. Even my best friends are afraid to tell me stuff because they are afraid of how i will react. That sounds like im a really shitty friend. My best friends cant be honest with me about how they feel. Some friends i just know that if we were in different curcumstances they wouldnt even want to be my friend at all. I know that i love them all with my whole heart and im willing to do anything for them. I know my i like stupid things get the best of my but im still a work in progress. I'd advice not to live life that way. Im learning but some advice dont life anything hold you back. What people say in the end wont actually matter have peace and joy flowing in your life. Just learn to let go of the things that you dont have control over. Im serious it makes life so much more enjoyable, isntabout the final product. I mean we all strive for something in this world, everyone wants to become something. Ive learned that it doesnt happen overnight. It is the small steps that we take to change ourselves and mold into the person we know we can be. As we change our lifes we end up having an effect on other lifes to. I talked to this lady one time and she was telling me that everyone you see or met has an effect on your life. I thought about it and it didnt make sense. They she said picture yourself at a concert. She asked me what was going on. I said there were tons of people around singing, dancing and screaming. Then she said now what if you were the only person there. Wouldnt your experience be different. I just yes of course. It made me think. My actions even the littles ones effects even people ive never met before. That you could make an impact on someones life even if you dont know it. Life is kind of cool that way. I know things bothering me know and will as long as im learning to be a better person. I wouldnt want my life any other way.
I know this blog is all over the place i guess i have a lot on my mind and just needed someplace to lie my thoughts. Ill never have all of the anwsers but i leave from everything i do. I know who i want to be in 10 years, but i cant figure out who i want to be tomorrow.